At 11 in the night when I sitting in this train with the only person sitting next to me, I cannot help but notice that he is grinning while reading some messages on his mobile. Scandalously I looked into his phone and noticed that he was reading some messages from a day before sent to him by a girl named ‘Shweta’. I felt pity for him. It is a tendency in boys to be too obsessed with the messages girls send us. And the fact that girls know this bothers me even more.
Some days back I met a friend and he claimed to be in a relationship with this girl who he loved intensely. He looked tense and when asked about his condition his reply was typical. he said, ‘Kutch ni yaar, Is ladki ne pareshan kar rakha hai(This girl has dismantled my life).’
When insisted to stress on this topic, he said, ‘I keep on texting her and calling her on regular basis so that she does not feel ignored. It is like she replies when she feels like. Sometimes it takes her days to reply to a simple message. She does not even pick the phone sometimes. After a limit I decide that won’t give her more attention than she deserves. Then out of nowhere she replies she was sorry, she was busy. And I pardon her.’
Suddenly from an outraged Chuck Norris he turns to a mellow George Clooney. He said it happened almost every month. We then insisted him to call the girl right in front of us and clear out the situation once and for all. He said he could not do that because it had been some days since she had replied to him. It was a simple case being taken for granted. And today it was happening with almost every second guy.
In every relationship there is an over-achiever and an under-achiever and the relationship revolves around the under-achiever. How long the relationship will last or how complicated a relation will be is decided by the under-achiever who always has the upper hand.
In my friend’s case he was clearly the over-achiever. We then persuaded him to not contact the girl and not even reply to her unless she is really sorry about it. Yesterday when I met him, he was his tensed self. We again insisted him to tell us how it turned out. All he had to say was that “Guys she texted and apologized and she was serious this time.”
We had realized that their relationship will never end to something meaningful and in short, our friend was screwed and with him every other guy in the similar situation.
“Learn from other’ mistakes. You can’t live long enough to make them yourselves.” ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
I have learnt from this instance that we should choose it ourselves who we want to be in a relationship. You can choose to be an over-achiever and in turn choose to compromise with your dignity. You can choose to be an under-achiever and control what happens in your relationship. As for me, I choose to be single.
SushantKaushik 