“I finished in a frenzy that reminded me of our last night in Cambridge. Watched my final sunrise. Enjoyed my last cigarette. I didn’t think that the view could be any more perfect until I saw that beat-up trilby. Honestly, as ridiculous as it may look, I don’t believe I have ever seen anything more beautiful. I watched you for as long as I dared.” David Mitchell in Cloud Atlas
These beautiful moments are captured by a character named Robert in David Mitchell’s Cloud Atlas who is enjoying his last moments alone in the sunrise on the top of a building in London. These moments are pristine and beautifully expressed too.
So yesterday I got sometime alone for myself, those silent moments of introspection, that powerful numbness which is, in my case, followed by olsen olsen by Sigur Ros. It is in these times that I feel loneliness is underrated. In my toughest times I used to go to my terrace late in the night and hear the sound of cars and trucks blowing horns on the highway. I would play my favorite song on my phone and just look at the lights of the huge buildings nearby which seemed more lively at night than in the morning with all the people coming in and corrupting it’s serenity.
In the time when you are dumped by your boyfriend/girlfriend, fired from your job or ditched by your close ones, it’s not the company of people( who will tell you that everything will be alright but feel otherwise) that you seek. Rather you should sit alone in a room in front of your favorite portrait, with a glass of scotch in one hand and a cigarette in other and just try to feel the pain. After all pain demands to be felt.
Sometimes the natural state of our mind is peace. It doesn’t want to be corrupted by people who understands nothing about you. These are small yet powerful moments which lead you directly to you heart. As the going gets tough people have started realizing the power of loneliness.
Time passes by rather quickly when you are alone and in the company of yourself. Like it’s passing right now for me while I’m sitting on the terrace on the bed of my dreams and blanket of all the stars in the sky.
SushantKaushik 